So, while most people were preparing for Hurricane Sandy, I was finally making the seasonal switch of clothes. Yes, I know it is almost November but I hadn't found the time to make the change. Also, it hasn't really been all that cold! That's my story and I am sticking to it! :-)
I remember when I was putting the winter clothes away at the end of the spring. I had been on Weight Watchers for about 2 -3 months and had made progress on the weight loss but was not at the point where I had gone down in clothing size. I remember hoping the clothes would still fit me when it was time to make the switch again. I had been off and on of weight loss plans for so many years, that I wasn't sure that I would stay on this path.
Well, it feels amazing to say that some of the clothes DON'T fit me. Since I have started Weight Watchers, I have dropped 4 sizes!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!! Thanks to the changes I have made in the last 8 months, I am now the size I was my senior year in High School. I could probably fit my prom dress from that year. It seems unreal to me but then again not. It has not always been easy for me to stay on track but I am still on. I am still tracking my food and trying to increase my activity. For the first time in a long time, I am hopeful that I will fit into this dress I bought about 3 years ago!! If I do, I will definitely post pictures.
I am not about 10 lbs away from reaching my next milestone. I am in the phase of my weight loss that I am not trying to reach that goal overnight. I know it will take time and I also know that I will reach it!!
As always, thanks for reading and take care!!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Another Milestone
Hello again!! I was compelled to blog again because I have reached another milestone. This year is definitely turning out to be a big one for me!! It is similar to 2007, which was a very big year for me. In 2007, I finally got my driver's license, bought a car and met the love of my life. Now, 5 years later, I have lost more weight then I have ever lost in life, finished paying the car off, GOT ENGAGED!!!! and today was my last visit with my therapist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I started therapy after I returned from my stay at Structure House. The therapist I had worked while at SH had warned me that I would never succeed with the weight loss until I addressed my past traumas and current issues. Upon my return home, I found a therapist and began the weekly visits. Originally, I thought I would be in therapy a short time! After all, most of the really traumatic things had happened so long ago. I was hoping that I could meet the therapist, explain my past and would get a few helpful tips to move on with my life. Boy was I mistaken!!
It took me a few months to realize that in order to get anything out of therapy, I had to put in the work!! There was nothing the therapist was going to tell me or do for me until I started taking it seriously. The problem with this is that I then had to start being honest with her and really start to analyze my feelings and emotions. She never told me I was wrong or made me feel silly for coming to her. In time, I learned to trust her and we began discussing the events that had led me to see her in the first place.
After 3 years, I can say that I have learned a lot. I have learned how to cope with some of my feelings and work through those that are not comfortable. I still have trauma to get over and issues to work out but I now have the personal tools to do so! It feels good to be done with therapy, not only because its an hour back of my time but because its something that I saw through and accomplished. For that, I am proud of me. :-)
As always, thanks for reading and take care!!
I started therapy after I returned from my stay at Structure House. The therapist I had worked while at SH had warned me that I would never succeed with the weight loss until I addressed my past traumas and current issues. Upon my return home, I found a therapist and began the weekly visits. Originally, I thought I would be in therapy a short time! After all, most of the really traumatic things had happened so long ago. I was hoping that I could meet the therapist, explain my past and would get a few helpful tips to move on with my life. Boy was I mistaken!!
It took me a few months to realize that in order to get anything out of therapy, I had to put in the work!! There was nothing the therapist was going to tell me or do for me until I started taking it seriously. The problem with this is that I then had to start being honest with her and really start to analyze my feelings and emotions. She never told me I was wrong or made me feel silly for coming to her. In time, I learned to trust her and we began discussing the events that had led me to see her in the first place.
After 3 years, I can say that I have learned a lot. I have learned how to cope with some of my feelings and work through those that are not comfortable. I still have trauma to get over and issues to work out but I now have the personal tools to do so! It feels good to be done with therapy, not only because its an hour back of my time but because its something that I saw through and accomplished. For that, I am proud of me. :-)
As always, thanks for reading and take care!!
Monday, October 15, 2012
Therapy
So, I was having a conversation today with a friend about therapy. She is going through a tough time and I was trying to get her to see the value of going to therapy. It's funny because while she doesn't think she is up for going to therapy right now, she does recognize its usefulness. I know so many people like this. They will agree that therapy is worthwhile yet they don't see how it can help them personally.
I have my own philosophy as to why so many people don't see therapy as viable option. The main reason is that there is a stigma attached to it. For some reason, even nowadays, people assume that there's something wrong with you if you go to a therapist. Well, I guess that assumption is correct. There is something wrong with you but there is something wrong with ALL of us. Some of us have had very traumatic events that we need help processing. Sometimes its the daily grind and daily struggles that we may need help with. No one is perfect and we could all use someone we could talk to. I know what its like to need this because I have been in therapy for the last 3 years. I have had both extremely traumatic events and sometimes I have struggles dealing with life in general.
I am blessed to have many wonderful people in my life who are more like family than friends and I know I can always go to them if I need an ear. But even with that amazing support, I still needed a secure space where I could vent to someone who was objective. Someone who had no emotional tie or connection to my life. I could be completely honest with her because it wouldn't hurt her feelings and I knew I wouldn't be judged. Its funny because sometimes I would tell her something and we would laugh about how stupid it sounded but I had the forum to say it out loud, no matter how stupid it was. I felt comfortable enough to be able to tell her how I felt and know that I would only get honest and open feedback.
This is another reason I think some people avoid therapy. In order to address your issues, you need to be honest with yourself in order to get to the root of the real problem. Most people are scared to do this. I find that for the most part, most people know what they need to change in their life or they have an idea. They may not like the steps they will need to make the change. So its easier to say, I don't know why this is happening. If you don't know, you cant fix it. My therapist helped me to see that most things in life don't "just happen" or "just is." There are reasons for it. I had to be able to keep questioning why until I get to the heart of what a particular issue was. I am now on the tail end of my therapy sessions but that's not to say I have no more issues or I have worked through or my demons. I am just at a place where I have the necessary tools to help me get through it.
I know its not easy, fun or comfortable to verbalize when you have an issue but that's exactly what needs to happen in order to get past it. There's no way around the pain, we have to go through it. In going through it, we can get over it. Therapy is one way that can help with this.
As always, thanks for reading and take care!!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
When the scale goes up instead of down!
Every Wednesday, I weigh in at my Weight Watchers at work meeting. That is not my first weigh in of the day though. Before I go to that meeting, before I even leave my house, I weigh myself on my scale at home. It kind of prepares me for what I am going to face when I get to work. The last time I weighed myself was two weeks ago. It had shown a gain of 1 lb. I had not been as diligent as I could be, so I accepted this. Over the last two weeks, I have been off and on my points. I went off when I went to the Big E and then restarted again. I also went off my points last weekend when I went to wedding but then, once again I restarted on Monday. I assumed because I had been on more than off my points, I would see a loss this week when I stepped on the scale but instead I had gained another lb, which means that I am up a total of 2 lbs!! I was soo annoyed when I saw that. I definitely don't want to go back to gaining weight or even maintaining, I want to LOSE the weight.
I was commiserating with a good friend of mine and told her I was not speaking to the scale this week because I had gained. We joked about how hard it was to lose weight and how frustrating the process could be. She suggested that I write about how easy it is to gain weight but how hard it is to lose it. So I thought about it and decided...ok...I will!
Anyone who has struggled with weight can agree that taking off the excess pounds can often feel like a mystery or just a down and dirty battle. We have to control impulses and desires and eat sensibly and move a little more. We have to give up what we want for what we need. We need to eat to live. Our body needs the fuel that we supply it by eating. However, what we need to eat versus what we want to eat are sometimes polar opposites!! This is one reason I feel that its easier to gain then to lose weight. To gain weight, you get to eat what you want! You want a cheeseburger from Five Guys, why not! How about some ice cream from Coldstone Creamery, sure!! Now you want a cupcake from Crumbs, go for it!! When we tell ourselves YES to everything we want to eat and not look at the consequence of eating it ALL the time, the weight comes on. Oftentimes, we say the weight creeps on but I call BS on that!
Weight does not creep on. We are in DENIAL about seeing the changes in our weight or the changes in how our clothes fit. I know I rationalized about my clothes not fitting for months before I realized that I had simply gone up 1 size in clothing!! When I look back at how I ate, there's no big mystery as to why I had gone up, I was eating what I want and when I wanted it!! Now that I am on Weight Watchers, I still slip into those old habits. I could say that I am shocked to see the weight go up but the truth is, I know in my heart of hearts that I have not been as diligent with everything as I should be. After losing 60 lbs, I may have gotten a little ahead of myself. Truth is I have a LONG way to go!! The only way I am going to get there is by holding myself accountable for what I eat and how much activity I am getting. It may be a lot more fun to eat what I want but its a lot more rewarding to eat what I need and see the results of my hard work!!
As always, thanks for reading and take care!!
I was commiserating with a good friend of mine and told her I was not speaking to the scale this week because I had gained. We joked about how hard it was to lose weight and how frustrating the process could be. She suggested that I write about how easy it is to gain weight but how hard it is to lose it. So I thought about it and decided...ok...I will!
Anyone who has struggled with weight can agree that taking off the excess pounds can often feel like a mystery or just a down and dirty battle. We have to control impulses and desires and eat sensibly and move a little more. We have to give up what we want for what we need. We need to eat to live. Our body needs the fuel that we supply it by eating. However, what we need to eat versus what we want to eat are sometimes polar opposites!! This is one reason I feel that its easier to gain then to lose weight. To gain weight, you get to eat what you want! You want a cheeseburger from Five Guys, why not! How about some ice cream from Coldstone Creamery, sure!! Now you want a cupcake from Crumbs, go for it!! When we tell ourselves YES to everything we want to eat and not look at the consequence of eating it ALL the time, the weight comes on. Oftentimes, we say the weight creeps on but I call BS on that!
Weight does not creep on. We are in DENIAL about seeing the changes in our weight or the changes in how our clothes fit. I know I rationalized about my clothes not fitting for months before I realized that I had simply gone up 1 size in clothing!! When I look back at how I ate, there's no big mystery as to why I had gone up, I was eating what I want and when I wanted it!! Now that I am on Weight Watchers, I still slip into those old habits. I could say that I am shocked to see the weight go up but the truth is, I know in my heart of hearts that I have not been as diligent with everything as I should be. After losing 60 lbs, I may have gotten a little ahead of myself. Truth is I have a LONG way to go!! The only way I am going to get there is by holding myself accountable for what I eat and how much activity I am getting. It may be a lot more fun to eat what I want but its a lot more rewarding to eat what I need and see the results of my hard work!!
As always, thanks for reading and take care!!
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Forgiveness
Its interesting because just today I was thinking that I wanted to get back into blogging. Well, actually, I had been thinking about it for a little while. I even emailed myself a list of ideas because I always think of some topics I find interesting while I'm at work and then I come home and forget them! Anyways, I was going to write about some good news I had but I might leave that for tomorrow. As I was driving home from work today, I had a very long and intense conversation with someone I love very much. We were talking about forgiveness and anger. This person is of the belief that she needs someone to acknowledge their wrong doing in order for her to forgive that person and let go of the anger. I disagree.
Often times we are angered or hurt by the ones we love the most. I believe the reason for this is that we love these people so much, we allow them to get close to our hearts and feelings and give them access to hurt us. Its not easy to forgive someone after being repeatedly hurt but its important to do so. You see, when we deny someone forgiveness, I believe we do more harm to ourselves. I believe in order to forgive, we need to recognize, acknowledge and accept what we are feeling.
If most people were asked their primary feeling after someone has wronged them, anger would most likely be #1. Why anger? Because anger is an acceptable feeling and can often mask the true feeling, which is pain. I find when I am the most angry, I am hurting and just don't want to say I am hurting. Maybe I don't feel like being vulnerable or maybe I don't want anyone else to know that I cared as much about the issue. Whatever the reason, I will often say I am mad or angry before I will cop to feeling hurt. I have to ask myself what do I gain from carrying around the anger? I gain nothing. Instead, I suffer from the bad mood or the sour emotions.
Now, I have to acknowledge why I am hurt. This is probably the hardest part for most people. You see, acknowledging hurt also means that you have to figure out why you're hurt. And this may take some digging and some painful truths.
Finally, once you have acknowledge the pain, you can accept it. The bottom line is that we will all feel pain at some point in our life, some more than others. Sometimes the pain is profound because the hurt or betrayal is intense but its still pain. Accept that you hurt, accept that you may cry. Allow yourself to feel the emotions.
Once you have done this, I believe you get to the part where you can forgive the other person. You may not be afforded the chance of having them acknowledge their wrongdoing. The key thing is that you're not holding on to the negative feelings. You're not reliving those painful situations over and over again because you have allowed yourself to feel them.
As I re-read this post, I realize that I sound like a self help guide but its how I really feel. When you forgive someone, you allow yourself to move on from the bad feelings!
As always, thanks for reading and take care.
Often times we are angered or hurt by the ones we love the most. I believe the reason for this is that we love these people so much, we allow them to get close to our hearts and feelings and give them access to hurt us. Its not easy to forgive someone after being repeatedly hurt but its important to do so. You see, when we deny someone forgiveness, I believe we do more harm to ourselves. I believe in order to forgive, we need to recognize, acknowledge and accept what we are feeling.
If most people were asked their primary feeling after someone has wronged them, anger would most likely be #1. Why anger? Because anger is an acceptable feeling and can often mask the true feeling, which is pain. I find when I am the most angry, I am hurting and just don't want to say I am hurting. Maybe I don't feel like being vulnerable or maybe I don't want anyone else to know that I cared as much about the issue. Whatever the reason, I will often say I am mad or angry before I will cop to feeling hurt. I have to ask myself what do I gain from carrying around the anger? I gain nothing. Instead, I suffer from the bad mood or the sour emotions.
Now, I have to acknowledge why I am hurt. This is probably the hardest part for most people. You see, acknowledging hurt also means that you have to figure out why you're hurt. And this may take some digging and some painful truths.
Finally, once you have acknowledge the pain, you can accept it. The bottom line is that we will all feel pain at some point in our life, some more than others. Sometimes the pain is profound because the hurt or betrayal is intense but its still pain. Accept that you hurt, accept that you may cry. Allow yourself to feel the emotions.
Once you have done this, I believe you get to the part where you can forgive the other person. You may not be afforded the chance of having them acknowledge their wrongdoing. The key thing is that you're not holding on to the negative feelings. You're not reliving those painful situations over and over again because you have allowed yourself to feel them.
As I re-read this post, I realize that I sound like a self help guide but its how I really feel. When you forgive someone, you allow yourself to move on from the bad feelings!
As always, thanks for reading and take care.
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