That's a wrap

A little over 3 months ago, I received a call I had always been dreading.  I was told that my role was being outsourced and I would be laid off at the end of the year.  I should have expected it with all of the changes happening, but I can honestly say, for me, it came out of nowhere.  It felt like a tidal wave knocked me out.  After the initial shock, I had a session with my therapist.  During that session, I acknowledged the tiny voice in the back of my mind.  The little voice reminding me that I was ready for change.  This lay off would allow me to find a new position and a passion.  Dare I say it, I was actually excited for what the future holds.  

Over time, I began informing coworkers of my impending exit.  The reactions were all similar.  Shock and disbelief.  After 23 years, my time with the company was coming to an end.  I received beautiful messages from so many people and for the first time, I felt affirmed.  I may lack confidence in other areas of my life but work is not one of them.  I have always felt confident in my ability to do my job well.  Yet, I was surprised and a little overwhelmed by all of the positivity.  

In October, I went to California to assist employees with Annual Open Enrollment.  While there, my coworkers went all out in celebrating my accomplishments.  There was a beautiful Golden Girls cake the first night.  The next day, after gifting me with some Golden Girls swag, I was treated to a Hollywood tour and ended the night with a delicious steak dinner.  My coworker even made me wear a "Birthday Girl" crown, so others can celebrate me as well.  I felt special and seen.  When I expressed my thanks for such a wonderful send off, I was told "You're a super important person to our team and we wanted you to know that!" That started my "farewell" tour.  

As I continued to share my goodbyes with colleagues I had worked with for many decades, I kept receiving wonderful messages.  People who had left the company long before now were reaching out to share their well wishes and also to offer themselves as referrals.  The outpouring of love was immense.  

In truth, I have been looking for my next role for a little while now, but I have always been filled with so much guilt.  I didn't want to leave the company and take all of my knowledge with me.  Part of the severance agreement included the transfer of knowledge.  I embraced the task of training the replacement team.  While others expressed disbelief that I would be "forced" to train someone taking my job, I was happy to do so.   This separation would allow me to pursue other opportunities and provide the chance to impart some of my knowledge.  It really was a win/win.  

The icing on the cake has been to fully understand the impact that I have made on the lives around me.  It has been gift to have so many people care about me and the work that I've done.  I wish everyone could know their impact as I have come to know mine.  

Closing this chapter is bittersweet.  I am grateful for all that I have learned with my company and hold no bitterness.  While I will miss the work that I've done, I am excited for what will come.  I can cry tears of closure and smile at the new beginnings.  I am ready.

As always, thank you for reading and take care.