Why is this time different??

As I continue on my journey, a question that is constantly coming up is why is this weight loss journey different from all of my previous ones???  Why am I doing so well with Weight Watchers??  Variations of the same question are being thrown at me.  I can honestly say that there is no easy answer to this question.

I know I mentioned in a previous post why I decided to rejoin WW and I think I may have even mentioned how I was dragging my feet.  The truth is I was tired of having to "diet."  Why cant I just eat what I want?? Maybe I am meant to be a heavier person.  Who cares if I am heavy?  Well, the truth was that I cared.  Deep down I knew that it was important for me to make changes.  I kept making excuses because I was scared of failing again.  Over the last 14 years,  I have joined and quit WW over 5 times.  I really didnt think that I could succeed long term, so I didnt even want to try.  However, when I weighed in and saw how far I had let myself go, I knew I didnt have an option.  Hence, the journey started again.

My weight on February 22, 2012, is one of the main reasons that I recommitted to the plan.  For years, I hovered around the same weight.  I would lose weight, gain weight, lose and gain again but it always remained about the same.  When I saw that I was 24.8 lbs MORE than that previous weight, it floored me.  If I had weighed in at the same weight I always hovered around, I am not so sure I would have taken it seriously because it would have been doing the same thing I had always done.  But at that weight, things had to change!

Another reason why this time is different for me is my therapist.  I have been seeing the same therapist since I returned from Structure House 3 years ago and she had documented my struggle with weight and weight loss.  When I told her how much I weighed and confessed how scared I was that I would not be able to succeed, she told me something that I still carry with me.  She said, "relapse is a part of recovery."  She explained how even addicts relapse a few times before staying on the path recovery.  She also mentioned that I needed to be nicer to myself and cut myself a break.  She echoed what my therapist at SH had said to me, "if someone walked behind you whispering the things you tell yourself, you would probably tell them to knock it off."  Of course, they are both right.  I am my own worst enemy, as I am sure many of us are.

The last main reason that this time is different is because of Susan.  She is the lead of my WW meetings.  As I said in my previous post, the one thing she said was, "you dont have to be perfect."  She gave me the ok to fail.  As weird as that seems, it is important to recognize that from the get go.  This in connection with trying to be nice to myself is key to my success.  I have taken all judgement out of the food process.  If I want to have a cheeseburger, thats fine.  I can do so.  I just need to pre plan and make sure I am making better choices throughout the day to account for that.  If for whatever reason, I have an off day and want to eat beyond the allotted daily points, I could always go into the weekly flex points in the WW program.  See with WW, there is no reason that I have to eat "bad."  Its all about my choices.

In the beginning, I took it meal by meal.  I made better food choices at each meal.  As the weight began to come off, I realized I was slightly gaining control over my eating.  I began to take it day by day.  Incorporating WW into my life became easier and I could see myself doing it long term.  I have now been on it almost 4 months, the longest span for me.  I have also lost the most I have ever lost with any plan.  I no longer berate or belittle myself by reminding myself that I was also the heaviest Id been.  I focus on the positive.  To avoid becoming overwhelmed, I set small goals.  As I accomplish them, it motivates me to continue.  I am .4 lbs away from accomplishing one goal and 1.6 away from accomplishing another and I feel great!! :-)

Thanks for reading and take care!! =)